Mozambican Martha

Nalia goes to horseback riding every Friday, and while she's riding, I usually talk with my friend Kevin.  Kevin went to Tulane with me, and I didn't know him well then, but through Friday afternoon horseback riding, I've gotten to know him a little better.  He and his wife have been in Mozambique for 10 years--first, we was the director of Habitat for Humanity, but then decided he wanted to do something else and opened up a coffee shop called Cafe Sol.  They bring coffee from Malawi and roast it in Mozambique.  It's good coffee. 
A couple of weeks ago, Kevin told me that they're ready to leave Mozambique and do something else...  'You know, mid-life stuff,' he explained. 'You get to a point in your life and realize you're not going to do all the important things you thougth you would, and you won't advance in your career like you thought you might... and you realize you're just an ordinary person.  But it's good.  It's ok.'  So, in the next chapter of their lives, Kevin and his wife want to work on an organic farm in Yolo County, California. 

I think I've been going full speed for say.. the last 15 years, and I hadn't really even stopped to breathe and think about any of this.  After Kevin said this, my fist thought was, 'Well, maybe he's middle aged, but not me...wait, oh shit.  He's right.  I'm 36 and that means that statistically, my life is about half over!'  That's me, the positive one.  But really, I have half my life left.  However, given who I am and how my life has been over so long, I hadn't even reduced the momentum long enough to consider any of this.  Living in the U.S., working full-time with two little kids, I couldn't reduce the momentum. 

That's why we came here, to slow the pace and do more of the things I longed for but could never do in the U.S. Sure, we did bike rides and went to the park and pool, but I was always rushing.  I was always exhausted.  There was a lot of stress.

Here, I've had a lot more time to consider this short beautiful life.  Part of the reason we came here was because I wanted to have more time with the kids-- to cook, swim, do art projects.  Last week, we picked lemons from the tree outside our house and made lemonade.  The same day, our chicken started laying eggs...last weekend, we made a parking garage for Elio's Matchbox cars out of a cereal box... it was great.  Since I've had a chance to consider more what I want for my family and for myself, I feel myself being pulled more and more towards domesticity.  Just call me Mozambican Martha.  I've been planting herbs and flowers.  I've spent a lot of time on allrecipes.com, printing out recipes for Oatmeal Carrot Muffins and Chinese Chicken Fried Rice.  And I actually make them.  Sometimes they're even good (according to Matias).

Zinnias in our garden

The words from Kevin made me think about how much time I've spent in my life apologizing for who I am... true, I'm impatient, I do things too fast, sometimes I'm defensive and don't listen, I can be cynical.  I feel guilty about too many things, and then feel guilty about feeling guilty.  But doesn't it really take your whole life to get to know yourself, work on the things you're not so good at, and figure out how to use the things you are good at to make the world a better place?  Also, another thing I'm finding out, as a mom, is that I need to take time to do the things I love!  And, for me, that's what I've missed... so, in the next postings, I'll start sharing my recipes, craft projects, recommendations for good books. 

Mozambican mailbox, aka Blackhole